Disciplining Ford

Why spank the spouse you love so much?

I received today the following comment on one of my posts from Michael and really appreciate his thoughts about my blog:

Hi Ford,
I only discovered your site very recently and I must say it’s excellent. The reason for my e-mailing is to kind of ask for your help, and DW’s if she would be so kind. I spend quite a bit of time trying to convince my wife that we should lead the lifestyle similar to yourselves. Whilst she has purchased a cane, to compliment the wooden clothes-brush we already have, she is very reluctant to use either as, she feels, she loves me and doesn’t want to hurt me. I always tell her that should I be naughty in any way, annoy her, disrespect her etc, then she should administer a suitable punishment with either or both. Whilst she has promised to do so in future, she does more often than not renege on her promise. Is there anything either you or DW could tell me that would help or what would you or DW tell my wife were she sat in front of you now? I hope I’m not asking too much and I truly hope you and/or DW can help me to convince my wife. Many thanks for your time Ford, keep on with your site, it really is great.
Kindest Regards to you both

When I shared this request with DW, it prompted us to consider anew the question of consensually inflicting physical pain on a much-loved spouse or partner for the specific purpose of disciplining them.

I expect readers of this Blog can have few doubts that my spankings from DW are almost exclusively in the context of Domestic Discipline and that she now has no reservations about ensuring that their severity responds appropriately to the seriousness and recurrence of my infringements. Make no mistake, being fully aware of the pain that DW can and does inflict when she reaches for that hairbrush, paddle or cane, I submit with real trepidation and in the knowledge that I will be more than relieved when she determines that my punishment and penitence are complete. DW then expects, and I willingly express my apology and gratitude for her discipline. Even DW’s regular “preventative” or reminder spankings are no joking matter.

So … is the severity of my spankings greater than I might have envisaged all those years ago when I first asked DW to discipline me? – Definitely!

Would I want her to be any less severe with them than she now is? – Definitely not.

Do I love her all the more for being prepared to discipline me in such a thorough and effective manner? – Absolutely.

And despite the severity and disciplinary nature of my spankings, there is no denying that they somehow contribute to our respective libidos with obvious benefit to our sex-life – put simply, the more time we can spend together, and the more consistently I am disciplined, the more we seem to desire each other.

Re-winding though, I put it to DW that she must have felt some reservations about hurting me in the context of a loving husband-wife relationship, especially given that she professes to have been a vanilla (albeit an adventurous one) in such matters.

On this, DW says:

Yes, I think by the time Ford first suggested I spank him we’d been married about 6 years – our relationship was very loving and passionate with close communication on just about anything really. The idea of spanking my husband had honestly never occurred to me before, but it was easy to see that this was something Ford wanted to try – and there were certainly times when he deserved it. I can’t remember exactly what he did one evening but it certainly annoyed me at the time. He was very apologetic as we climbed into bed that evening and he suggested I could spank him if I wished. I’m not sure what he was expecting, but I quickly had him out of bed and over my knee for some treatment with the wooden hairbrush. Although pretty mild compared to what I give him today, we both felt his behaviour had been dealt with and some intensive lovemaking followed.

From what Michael says, you clearly have a very loving relationship and have been communicating well about his desire to be disciplined by spanking him. Knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t hesitate and can now endorse Aunt Kay’s good advice from first hand experience. I found her DWC Handbook publication very helpful and still keep it discretely by the bedside, along with a more recent one on Caning Techniques. Likewise, if you follow her safety advice, you’ll do no harm.

I also keep a whiteboard on the back of the bedroom door where I track Ford’s infringements. That way when his spanking time arrives, both he and I know exactly what it’s for.

I also put it to DW that she must have decided at some point that, if it was serious discipline I was seeking, then that’s exactly what she would unreservedly administer whenever it was warranted. Personally, I believe this point had definitely been reached by some time in late 2003 when DW declared our first specifically disciplinary weekend, and about which I’ve posted starting at That First Weekend – Friday Night. On her Disciplinary Wives Club site, I think this is some of the Reality Testing to which Aunt Kay refers.

On this, DW says:

I don’t remember reaching any specific decision on this at a particular time but had been chewing it over for a while based on information gleaned primarily through the web. I certainly got it into my head to give Ford’s backside a very comprehensive tanning that weekend – perhaps I was subconsciously testing his limits. Routinely, if Ford can sit on a wooden seat without wincing a little the next day after a spanking, I personally feel that I haven’t done my job.

I don’t know where that puts us on the severity scale, but at the end of the day, you will need to set a level that suits you best, but there’s no hurry, take your time and trust your instincts, and talk about it – often.

Speaking of which, we’ve also found that the disciplinary component of our relationship forms a very special and intimate bond of trust between us – something that only we share and know about our relationship.

Michael, I hope this has been of some assistance – let’s know how you are going.
All the best

April 29th, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | 10 comments


  1. An excellent posting. Our marriage has improved greatly since Hank accepted
    being disciplined. Generally we meet on Friday evening and review a list of
    his offenses to your marriage. Usually selfish acts. We discuss them all and then he is spanked with hand, paddle, brush and occasionaly I need to use the cane.
    After he does a bit of corner time and then we talk again about his offenses.

    few times a year Hank will get himself into a cranky, bratty mood. My solution is what i call 3 for 30. For 30 days he is spanked before breakfast, again at lunnch or after work and then again before bed. Thee sessions a day makes a remarkable change in him.

    I dont want a yes man but i also dont want him bringing home his frustrations.

    Comment by Hank's Sara | April 29, 2007

  2. I always enjoy your postings. They always provide insight into your views and practice of disciplinary spankings. Although my wife and I are into erotic spankings, your views always are thought provoking. Different strokes for different folks. My only criticism of your blog is too infrequent postings, but when shows up, it is worth the wait.

    Comment by Johna | May 3, 2007

  3. How did hank get so lucky 3 spankings a day wow, I wish Sara would have gone into more detail. What a great way to start and end each day.

    Comment by Ron | June 22, 2007

  4. I’ve just found this site and liked it a lot.I am in the same sort of relationship and have gotten used to it over the years which has been to my benefit and I hope, my wifes.
    It isn’t to everyones tastes but it sure has helped me a lot.

    Comment by george | August 25, 2007

  5. Dear DW and Ford: Thanks for the candidness and informative information here in your blog. I have started to work on such a relationship with my wife, who is capable, but very uninterested. I really want and need to change a few things about my behavior, and habits. Your contract and rules have really helped me to have an idea of what I need lay out in writing for me to agree to and for her to understand what I want. Thank you so very much for letting me share part of your personal life and story. Speedy

    Comment by George Speed | November 1, 2009

  6. Dear DW and Ford: Wellll….I am very happy to hear that you are still going to keep your blog, when you can get to it. I was afraid, as I am sure a lot of others were too, that you had disappeared into cyberspace for good. Please, keep the info about yourselves flowing. Speedy

    Comment by George Speed | November 15, 2009

  7. Dear DW and Ford: I have not been spanked since High School. But I remember my fathers strappings, and my coaches paddlings very well, to this day.
    Now, at my advanced age, I have found over the last 3 years that, in spite of every motivational thing I have tried or thought of, I have been singularly unsuccessful at regularly doing exercise. As a consequence, I have lost a lot of muscle and gotten into bad shape.
    I have hit on a plan which I think might work. That is to penalize myself with a strap stroke of spanking by my loving wife, for every minute that I fail to do my planned exercises during each week. In addition, I wish to permanently quit what we have come to call, Hurtfully Raising my voice to her, or “Yelling” at her, at times.
    I have also decided that I deserve a much worse spanking for the Hurtfully Raised voice behavior.
    So, I have written up a detailed Plan, based on the Modern Spencer Spanking Plan. We have no intention of launching into a complete DW marital relationship, such as you enjoy.
    We want to carry out a limited use of the spanking method to help me modify my behavior, or suffer the physically painful penalties for not doing so.
    I am the HOH, and she is the QOC (Queen of the Castle). I am dominant by nature and she is submissive by nature. She knows nothing about spanking anyone. So, much development has be done by her to get into this method. I have put tremendous detail into my Plan drafting, to be limiting and instructional for her to feel comfortable carrying out the plan without really injuring me, and giving me some control over the actual spankings, should I need it. I know you don’t do that, but as complete newbies, I believe this will be the best way to start. The Plan is for an initial period of 6 months, and then we will see what to do next.
    I would like for you to review my written Plan for me, and let me have any criticism, commentary and suggestions that you may have after reading it.
    Would you be so kind as to do that for me? It is about 9 sort of full pages of typing. There is an Agreement, a set of 10 Rules, and an Offenses and Penalties list, with some descriptive scales and definitions, which I have invented for us to start out with.
    I have purchased two spanking straps for us to begin with. One small and one medium size, called Little Brother and Middle Brother. These are severe enough for me to fear them, so far. We have conducted 4 experiment sessions, for both of us to work into this method, and for her to gain some expertise in wielding the straps well. I chose straps, because that is what I am most familiar with from my early days under my father’s rule, and she did not feel good about a using a hard wood paddle.
    If you would be willing to review my Plan, how can I get it to you by private email, because I do not want to post it here for the public.
    Please, let me know, when it is convenient for you.
    Thanks, very much, and my best wishes to you both. Speedy

    Comment by George Speed | November 28, 2009

  8. Dear DW and Ford: Just a note to say I sent you an update to my plan attachments, this morning. Merry Christmas and all the fun you can stand. Speedy

    Comment by George Speed | December 20, 2009

  9. Stumbled on here by accident,,,,might be fate. I lost my little pet boy a year or so ago.
    I’ll look forward to entertaining myself for a while at least reading these interesting posts.


    Comment by Aydene | March 23, 2010

  10. Dear DW and Ford. Just a not to say that i too am a DW who over the past 6 years had the notion that if I loved my man I should not hurt him. These days a good spanking goes a long way, however I am reluctant to go 3 and 30. Three spanks a day for 30 days. Will it really work. My partner is quite obstinate and needs a lot of lessons in respect. Do i just do it.

    Comment by maria | December 6, 2011

Leave a comment

Protected by WP Anti Spam