As fantasies of my submission to spankings have been with me since well before I became aware of my sexuality, I’m rather drawn to the conclusion there is some hard-wiring there that defies explanations derived from childhood experiences. Although those desires became integrated with my sexuality over time and feed into the well-being of our sex life, the truly disciplinary component of our relationship generally happens as a distinct activity with that discipline as its specific objective.
Nor, unlike some other perfectly valid expressions of DD, does it amount to DW being the Head of the Household – but rather, a means by which the balance the power in our relationship is maintained – albeit by my surrender to whatever discipline she determines.
Meanwhile, my recent investigations turned up a couple items that it seems, have been around for some time, but gave me some new insights:
ASSUME THE POSITION: EXPLORING DISCIPLINE RELATIONSHIPS
Yes, this is a dissertation in partial fulfillment of the requirements for a PhD from the College of Arts and Sciences at Georgia State University – and seems an amazingly comprehensive piece of research. As such, it rightfully defies summarisation, but let’s just say, I seem to fit in there somewhere.
The other is a more personal experience – that makes me feel less alone in my kink, but most of all, just so damnably fortunate:
Finding the Courage to Reveal a Fetish
In essence my love language of discipline is simply that DW makes it her priority and devotes her time to regularly and diligently meet my need to be spanked – irrespective of whether I ‘deserve’ it, but all the more so when I do. Severely enough that I approach each with a trepidation and nervousness about the pain she will inflict – be it from hairbrush, paddle or cane – knowing that I always carry the marks of her handiwork, and feeling the aftermath until it’s time for the next.
