Disciplining Ford

An Agreeable Relationship

The month of August has been a very busy one in our household, with a family member returning from a long-term absence overseas, combined with hectic times at work and business providing virtually no opportunity for DW to administer discipline – or even for me to attend properly to this Blog. Finally we did manage to schedule a weekend away to participate in a sporting event and then stayed over an additional night, primarily so that DW could ensure I received the very severe spanking for which by then, I was well overdue.

About one and a half weeks later, with my backside still bearing some visible evidence of that spanking, we were travelling together in the car to pay a surprise visit to some friends and fell to discussing our relationship and in particular, just how relaxed and comfortable we are in each other’s company after some 16 years together.

Obviously there are many aspects of any relationship that would contribute to that situation, and we had discussed quite a few before we came to our Disciplinary Agreement and its role.

We had to conclude that our particular journey has not been into a more general D/s lifestyle arrangement, but “simply” one that, on those occasions when my behaviour warranted, gives DW the right to pull me into line by the administration of an agreed regime of Domestic Discipline, to which I have consented. Furthermore, DW made it absolutely clear that she values that right very highly, whilst both agreeing that it is by no means the raison d’être for our relationship.

So while our relationship may appear to outside observers as proceeding no differently than usual, that may well be the case – but on the other hand, it’s quite possible that DW has only recently meted out some severe bottom medicine or has me in the most humiliating pair of panties she can find as a direct result of some behavioural infringement on my part. If my offence is committed in public however, she has her way of subtly communicating that there will be consequences.

Probably as a result of this discussion, DW and I have taken the opportunity to review our Domestic Disciplinary Agreement, originally drafted in July 2000. For those interested, and with DW’s agreement, the updated version (now at Draft C) can be found here.

August 31st, 2006 Posted by | Uncategorized | 7 comments


  1. Our relationship is almost similar to yours except because of a botched back operation she sometimes takes me to a professional when i need a hard spanking. Also i wear panties; her daily choice, and i clean the house only wearing an apron. aj

    Comment by Anonymous | September 1, 2006

  2. Hi. I’m thinking about ordering some manties like you have pictured in your post, and I have a quick question for you. Do you find that you wear the same size manties as you do in store bought name brand panties? Or do you need a smaller or larger size in manties than you usually do?

    Comment by Anonymous | September 1, 2006

  3. Hi,
    I normally take around 32-34″ waist size and found that the medium size high-cut manties to be a very good fit. I’ve found it a bit trickier to match other US sizes – for instance, I recently found that US Size 8 women’s panties are quite a bit too large.
    all the best

    Comment by Ford | September 1, 2006

  4. Thank you, Ford, for sharing so much insight into your personal lifestyle. I find it fascinating… so different and yet not really different at all, from the relationship that I have with my Dante… I find the male/female, Dom/sub dynamic simply fascinating!

    Hey, are you already playing my Fantasy Friday game? If not, please check it out and if so, would you consider sharing a fantasy with me to include one week sometime soon?

    If so, just drop me an email containing a fantasy or story that you haven’t yet published online…

    I’d love for you to play with us all… you offer a unique perspective. Besides, it’s lots of fun and promotes your site at the same time!

    Big hugs and TTFN,

    Comment by Anonymous | September 10, 2006

  5. Hi Tiggr,
    That sounds like an offer simply too good to refuse – better set down some of my imaginings I guess!
    Thanks too for your feedback – Fantasy Friday is great concept that I’ve been very much enjoying.

    Comment by Ford | September 10, 2006

  6. Ford, my wife and I have a very agreeable relationship she wears the pants and is the boss. She put me over her knee on our wedding night and explained her rules to me while administering a hairbrush spanking I will never forget. I follow her rules and instructions totally or get a dose of her hairbrush. We have no written agreement. Her hairbrush is her contract.

    Comment by Anonymous | September 21, 2006

  7. <p>Hi Ford<br />
    I just need to say, thanks for sharing your blog with us. It is really great to be able to follow your d/d relationship.<br />
    It’s your blog generally that inspired me and gave me the incentive to discuss and work out an agreement with my wife to embrace a real d/d lifestyle, which we have had for about 3 years now..<br />
    My wife is largely Vanilla, but, as far as I can tell, has embraced the d/d thing very well. She tells me she gets no sexual gratification / excitement out of the arrangement, but does get some satisfaction out of punishment beatings, especially on the occasions when I’ve broken a rule, been disrespectful or generally just pissed her off and she dishes out the punishment right there and then. She has often said she finds that side of it more rewarding than the reminder discipline she administers to me every other week…She does see some return on her investment too, in that, for us it is a serious (real) d/d agreement, if and when I get punished, I genuinely do reflect on why I’m being punished and try (some times not very successfully!) modify my behavior. I think this arrangement is significantly different than a lot of the BDSM / D/s players out there…<br />
    Ford, does your relationship with DW have any similarities with mine? Were you both spanko’s before your d/d agreement or did one of you get ‘converted’?<br />
    Thanks once again for a great informative blog!!</p>

    Comment by Jon & MsE | June 15, 2009

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